#zombie

What did the zombie say to the whore? Keep the tip! ↗

— Diana Rowland

#vaginal-fantasy #zombies #life

I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#monsters #zombies #love

Not all the magic of earth is benevolent. ↗

— Alden Bell

#hopeful #reality #science-fiction #zombies #science

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?" "Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are." "What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?" "Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #joke #mummies #sarcasm #vampire

When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is. * If it replies "Brains," blow its fucking head off. * If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life. * Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian. ↗

— Etienne Guerin DeForest

#funny-quotes #humor #zombie #zombie-apocalypse #zombies

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#beat #god #i #know #make

I do enjoy Gothic fiction or books about zombies if they are well written and I like vampires. ↗

— Roddy Doyle

#books #enjoy #fiction #gothic #i

My body started to shut down. I got really, really ill. When you're starving yourself, you can't concentrate. I was like a walking zombie, like the walking dead. I was just consumed with what I would eat, what I wouldn't eat. ↗

— Tracey Gold

#concentrate #consumed #dead #down #eat

My friend "M" says the irony of being a zombie is that everything is funny, but you can't smile, because your lips have rotted off. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#zombies #funny

I’m pre-med,” he added smugly. “Okay.” I said again. I didn’t shrug this time, but his jaw tightened a bit as if he was annoyed that I wasn’t displaying the proper amazement at his accomplishment. “And I’m next in line to be promoted to death investigator.” The look he gave me was nothing short of a challenge, and I had to fight to not roll my eyes. What, he expected me to start crowing about my own accomplishments so he could top them? He’d be waiting a long time for that. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death