#zo

Well I ain't Dr. Phil, but I'm smart," she said. "And your shoes are cuter than his," I said, trying to sound at least semi-normal. "Yeah they remind me of Dorothy's ruby slippers, only mine are wedges 'cause I'm more fashion conscious than she was. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#dr-phil #funny #hidden #house-of-night #kramisha

So you killed him with what now?" "I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy. ↗

— Jesse Petersen

#zombies #humor

She's really amazing," Darius said as he gazed lovingly after her. "If by amazing you mean a total pain in the butt, then I'll agree with you. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#zoey #love

I see a tongue! Some asshole is licking my peephole. ↗

— Mark Tufo

#tongue #zombie #humor

It's why I get miffed at all the dashing around in recent zombie films. It completely misses the point; transforms the threat to a straightforward physical danger from the zombies themselves, rather than our own inability to avoid them and these films are about us, not them. There's far more meat on the bones of the latter, far more juicy interpretation to get our teeth into. The first zombie is by comparison thin and one dimensional and ironically, it is down to all the exercise. ↗

— Simon Pegg

#humor #memoir #zombies #humor

Alice is fictional. This isn't. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#dark-humor #group-think #groupthink #lady-gaga #mad-magazine

Humanity was a passing notion to him; something he liked to try on for size and model in the dressing room, but never actually felt compelled to buy. ↗

— Jane Bled

#author #dark #ebook #glbt #humor

Beth from accounting is just sitting in her car eating spaghetti. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#humor #zombies #humor

So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident. ↗

— Lish McBride

#necromancer #panda #sarcastic #zombie #humor

TANDAAN: mahirap mafriendzone, pero madali lang gumanti! ↗

— Ramon Bautista

#humor #love #humor