#zip

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. ↗

— Emo Philips

#asked #caught #childbirth #either #ever

The zipless fuck is absolutely pure. It is free of ulterior motives. There is no power game . The man is not "taking" and the woman is not "giving." No one is attempting to cuckold a husband or humiliate a wife. No one is trying to prove anything or get anything out of anyone. The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is. And it is rarer than the unicorn. And I have never had one. ↗

— Erica Jong

#fear-of-flying #the-zipless-fuck #motivational

I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my pants.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #pants #safe #safety

Sometimes the thing that brings us together also pulls us apart. Sort of like a zipper.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cohesive #proximity #pull #together #unity

The young people look great on television. They're youthful and have a lot of zip and energy, but when you see them live, they can only do about 20 minutes because they haven't got the training to hold an audience for an hour and a half or so. ↗

— Tony Bennett

#audience #because #energy #got #great

Some men eat dinner with silverware. Some use chopsticks. I prefer zippers.
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— Jarod Kintz

#dinner #eat #food #oral-sex #preference

There are three signs of senility. The first sign is that a man forgets his theorems. The second sign is that he forgets to zip up. The third sign is that he forgets to zip down. ↗

— Paul Erdos

#first #forgets #his #man #second

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. ↗

— George Burns

#faces #finally #first #forget #names

You know, as long as you do everything in moderation, you don't go overboard, you don't, you know, turn your lips into guppy lips - I mean, a little zip or a little zap, that is not a big deal. ↗

— Suzanne Somers

#big deal #deal #everything #everything in moderation #go

I don't want to see the zipper in the back of the monster suit. Like everybody else who goes to the movies, I want to believe the monster is real. ↗

— Eric Stoltz

#believe #else #everybody #everybody else #goes