#z

The wizard [of Oz] says look inside yourself and find self. God says look inside yourself and find [the Holy Spirit]. The first will get you to Kansas. The latter will get you to heaven. Take your pick. ↗

— Max Lucado

#heaven #holy-spirit #kansas #wizard-of-oz #love

Wherever they might be they always remember that the past was a lie, that memory has no return, that every spring gone by could never be recovered, and that the wildest and most tenacious love was an ephemeral truth in the end. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#garcía #hundred #márquez #of #one

There's you. There's me. We love each other, and we have since we were kids, so we should be together. The end. ↗

— Kristin Cast

#heath-luck #love #zoey-redbird #love

One thing about a skunk - once you recognize the markings, you know things are gonna stink. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#recognition #richelle #richelle-goodrich #skunk #stink

The other day I found 20 dollars. It was just lying in a wallet I took from some guy’s pocket.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #choice #funny #humor #money

I stitched an itch to my side. As far as surgeries go, I’m just barely scratching the surface.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #itch #itching

It’s hard to wear a Speedo and pose with an erection. Still, I’ve got to try, every Saturday from 9 am to 8:59 pm.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

A clone’s most valuable function would be as a gift giver, because who else but you knows exactly what you want? Only your clone. And besides being the perfect gift, it’d also be a surprise, because it’s not like you bought your own gift. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

I’ve got a pocket full of cash, and a condom full of erection.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought