#z

My favorite color is you. ↗

— Suzanne Brockmann

#favorite-color #love #romance #stephen-diaz #love

To see someone you love in so much pain—especially emotional pain that can’t be remedied—was the worst form of torture. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#angels #fantasy #fiction #kreitzer #paranormal-romance

As Hazel marched down the hill, she cursed in Latin. Percy didn’t understand all of it, but he got son of a gorgon, power-hungry snake, and a few choice suggestions about where Octavian could stick his knife. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#hazel-levesque #humor #insults #octavian #percy-jackson

I can’t believe how much this place has grown,” Hazel muttered. The taxi driver grinned in the rearview mirror. “Been a long time since you visited, miss?” “About seventy years,” Hazel said. The driver slid the glass partition closed and drove on in silence. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #taxi-driver #the-heroes-of-olympus #the-son-of-neptune

If you don't have any feelings for Will Darcy, why are you blushing and fixing your hair? ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#darcy #humorous #lizzie #humor

A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

At the end of the warehouse was a dais constructed from pallets of books: stack of vampire novels, walls of James Patterson thrillers, and a throne from about a thousand copies of something called The Five Habits of Highly Aggressive Women. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #the-son-of-neptune #humor

Any civilization where the main symbol of religious veneration is a tool of execution is a bad place to have children. ↗

— Charles Stross

#humor #religion #humor

Kinzie smiled smugly. “You admire our base of operations? Yes, our distribution system is worldwide. It took many years and most of our fortune to build. Now, finally, we’re turning a profit. The mortals don’t realize they are funding the Amazon kingdom. Soon, we’ll be richer than any mortal nation. Then—when the weak mortals depend on us for everything—the revolution will begin!” “What are you going to do?” Frank grumbled. “Cancel free shipping? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#amazons #frank-zhang #humor #kinzie #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians

The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face. ↗

— Max Brooks

#monkey #zombies #humor