#wordplay

Easily found, easily gathered, lives were the small change of this world, and if you lost a few, it didn't matter; there were always more. ↗

— Salman Rushdie

#change

You can't let the truth bring out the worst and let it get the best of you. ↗

— Criss Jami

#best #clever #condescension #humble #humility

Mother could go for one year without food, but not one day without her lip sticks. ↗

— Barbara Kingsolver

#wordplay #food

Save your explanations, I got some questions for you first and you'd better answer them!' [slurred Hellian.] 'With what?' [Banaschar] sneered. 'Explanations?' 'No. Answers. There's a difference-' 'Really? How? What difference?' 'Explanations are what people use when they need to lie. Y'can always tell those,'cause those don't explain nothing and then they look at you like they just cleared things up when really they did the opposite and they know it and you know it and they know you know and you know they know that you know and they know you and you know them and maybe you go out for a pitcher later but who picks up the tab? That's what I want to know.' 'Right, and answers?' 'Answers is what I get when I ask questions. Answers is when you got no choice. I ask, you tell. I ask again, you tell some more. Then I break your fingers, 'cause I don't like what you're telling me, because those answers don't explain nothing! ↗

— Steven Erikson

#banaschar #drunk #explanations #funny #hellian

Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#business

Quite a lot is a large amount but quite a few is also a large amount. ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #misattributed #spoonerism #wordplay #humor

Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?' Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.' Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.' I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain. ↗

— Robert Louis Stevenson

#humour #pirates #pun #wit #wordplay

tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight! ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#quip #tonight #wordplay #short-story

Doctors most commonly get mixed up between absence of evidence and evidence of abense ↗

— Nassim Nicholas Taleb

#evidence #medicine #quip #wordplay #medicine