#wordplay

(Media question to Beatles during first U.S. tour 1964) "How do you find America?" "Turn left at Greenland. ↗

— Ringo Starr

#beatles #geography #greenland #humor #media

Why it's simply impassible! Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#alice-in-wonderland #door #funny #humor #wordplay

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail! ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#planning #wordplay #inspirational

Life insurance is a dying industry.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #dying #industry #life-insurance #pun

Easily found, easily gathered, lives were the small change of this world, and if you lost a few, it didn't matter; there were always more. ↗

— Salman Rushdie

#change

I'm amazed at how amazing amazing artists are... truly amazing! ↗

— Stuart Blythe

#artists #fun #music #wordplay #music

Quite a lot is a large amount but quite a few is also a large amount. ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

There are four on whose pots the Holy One, blessed he, knocked, only to find them filled with piss, and these are they: Adam, Cain, the wicked Balaam, and Hezekiah." Again, an abrupt transposition from the divine to the domestic, from upper to lowly spheres, occurs in the midrash. The homely image of the Holy One knocking on pots apparently derives from the practice of tapping on a clay or earthen pot to hear its ring in order to decide if it is worthy of holding wine. In current Hebrew usage, the expression 'to assess or gauge someone's pot' still denotes taking in the measure of a person's character. From Adam's answer to God, we learn that he turned out to be a pisspot. ↗

— Shuli Barzilai

#humor #wordplay #home

Don't look at me in that tone of voice. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #wordplay #humor

Brevity is the soul of lingerie. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#lingerie #wordplay #humor