#wordplay

He: "Whale you be my valentine?" She: "Dolphinitely. ↗

— Adam Young

#sea #valentine #wordplay #originality

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. ↗

— Mark Twain

#wordplay #animals

Do is to don’t, as go is to gon’t. Gon’t even do there.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#wordplay #humor

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humorous #wordplay #humor

I'm just like any other person you can meet and greet on the street and like or not like. I'm not Holden or Humbert. You can really touch me! If you don't believe me, come to Aristod right now. Come hold and hump me! ↗

— Brian Celio

#humbert #humor #salinger #wordplay #humor

Now me,” said Mr. Vandemar. “What number am I thinking of?” “I beg your pardon?” “What number am I thinking of?” repeated Mr. Vandemar. “It’s between one and a lot,” he added, helpfully. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#wordplay #funny

Noses run. Feet smell. ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monahcino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile. ↗

— Zane Stumpo

#funny #humor #humour #wit #witty

(Media question to Beatles during first U.S. tour 1964) "How do you find America?" "Turn left at Greenland. ↗

— Ringo Starr

#beatles #geography #greenland #humor #media

Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much. ↗

— Criss Jami

#challenge #clever #cognition #cognitive #cognitive-psychology