#wedding

It's not the concept of marriage I have a problem with. I'd like to get married too. A couple times. It's the actual wedding that pisses me off. The problem is that everyone who gets married seems to think that they are the first person in the entire universe to do it, and that the year leading up to the event revolves entirely around them. You have to throw them showers, bachelor-ette weekends, buy a bridesmaid dress, and then buy a ticket to some godforsaken town wherever they decide to drag you. If you're really unlucky, they'll ask you to recite a poem at their wedding. That's just what I want to do- monitor my drinking until I'm done with my public service announcement. And what do we get out of it, you ask? A dry piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with their hiibilly cousin. I could get that at home, thanks. Then they have the audacity to go shopping and pick out their own gifts. I want to know who the first person was who said this was okay. After spending all that money on a bachelorette weekend, a shower, and often a flight across the country, they expect you to go to Williams Sonoma or Pottery Barn and do research? Then they send you a thank-you note applauding you for such a thoughtful gift. They're the one who picked it out! I always want to remind the person that absolutely no thought went into typing in a name and having a salad bowl come up. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#weddings #home

I don't think it's possible to have a wedding without it being stressful! ↗

— Debra Messing

#i #possible #stressful #think #wedding

That to me was the most poignant part of Diana's wedding; as she was walking up the aisle and her eyes were going left to right, looking at people and smiling in the way that Diana did - and that diamond tiara glittering like mad. It was great. ↗

— Bruce Oldfield

#diamond #diana #did #eyes #glittering

My vision is that I'm living to see two more daughters get married, dance at their weddings and then lift the Lombardi Trophy several times. ↗

— Chuck Pagano

#daughters #get #get married #i #lift

I try to remember, as I hear about friends getting engaged, that it's not about the ring and it's not about the wedding. It's a grave thing, getting married. And it's easy to get swept up in the wrong things. ↗

— Gwyneth Paltrow

#easy #engaged #friends #get #getting

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. ↗

— Socrates

#advice #be happy #become #find #get

The day of the wedding went like these things generally do, full of anxious moments interspersed with black comedy. ↗

— Janet Street-Porter

#black #black comedy #comedy #day #full

I think a lot of people who feel as though they desperately want to be married oftentimes simply desperately want to have a wedding. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#feel #i #i think #lot #married

I've been looking at some video clips on YouTube of President Obama - then candidate Obama - going through Iowa making promises. The gap between his promises and his performance is the largest I've seen, well, since the Kardashian wedding and the promise of 'til death do we part. ↗

— Mitt Romney

#between #candidate #clips #death #gap

No jealousy their dawn of love overcast, nor blasted were their wedded days with strife; each season looked delightful as it past, to the fond husband and the faithful wife. ↗

— James Beattie

#blasted #dawn #days #delightful #each