#wedding

He can't get it up!" Richard is exultant... Oh God. This is how rumors start. This is how misunderstandings happen and archdukes get shot and world wars begin. "Listen, both of you!" I say fiercely. "Lottie has said nothing whatsoever to me about anything being up...or down." "Mine is up," volunteers Noah matter-of-factly, and I gasp in horror before I can stop myself. OK, Fliss. Don't overreact. Be cool. Be an enlightened parent. "Really, darling? Gosh. Well." My cheeks have flamed. Both men are waiting with expressions of glee. "That's...that's interesting, sweetheart. Maybe we'll have a little talk about it later. Our bodies do wonderful, mysterious things, but we don't always talk about them in public." I give a meaningful look to Richard. Noah seems perplexed. "But the lady talked about it. She told me to put it up." "What?" I stare at him in confusion. "For takeoff. 'Put your tray table up." "Oh." I gulp. "Oh, I see. Your tray table." I can feel a snort of mirth rising. "Poor Uncle Ben's tray table doesn't go up," says Richard, deadpan. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#wedding-night #men

Be there a picnic for the devil, an orgy for the satyr, and a wedding for the bride. ↗

— Roman Payne

#devil #payne #picnic #poem #poetry

I'm one of those people who has always been a bridesmaid. ↗

— Piper Laurie

#always #been #i #people #those

A man's got two shots for jewelry: a wedding ring and a watch. The watch is a lot easier to get on and off than a wedding ring. ↗

— John Mayer

#get #got #jewelry #lot #man

I don't think it's possible to have a wedding without it being stressful! ↗

— Debra Messing

#i #possible #stressful #think #wedding

Well, I'll tell you something, this wedding is something that I will always, always cherish. It was a show of love and support and kindness like I'd never seen from the people, and that's who I entertain. I entertain the people. ↗

— Liza Minnelli

#cherish #entertain #i #kindness #like

I've chosen my wedding ring large and heavy to continue forever. But exactly because of that all the time that Dave and I have an argument I feel it like handcuffs, and on anger time I throw it in a basket. Poor Dave, he bought me three wedding rings already! ↗

— Carmen Miranda

#anger #argument #basket #because #bought

I only use my sick days for hang-overs and soap opera weddings. ↗

— Kate O'Brien

#i #only #opera #sick #soap

I like wearing my wedding ring, it's nice. ↗

— Jerry O'Connell

#like #nice #ring #wearing #wedding

I've been married before, but I've never had my dream wedding in Vegas. I wanted to do it there because it's casual, quick, not religious and, most of all, very romantic. ↗

— Sinead O'Connor

#been #before #casual #dream #had