#we

When I was pregnant, I felt filled with life, and I felt really happy. I ate well, and I slept well. I felt much more useful than I'd ever felt before. ↗

— Suzanne Vega

#before #ever #felt #filled #happy

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? ↗

— George Carlin

#anyone #driving #ever #faster #going

I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He accepted and was so grateful that he offered to trade mustaches with me. In remembrance of that special bonding moment, I still wear his mustache over my left nipple.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bald #baldness #bond #bonding #eyebrows

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? ↗

— Abraham Lincoln

#wearing #were #would

After a month or so in St. Louis, we were looking around desperately for a way to draw a few people into the ball park, it being perfectly clear by that time that the ball club wasn't going to do it unaided. ↗

— Bill Veeck

#around #ball #ball club #being #clear

The advice that I usually give to young actors is that if you can create a character for the stage and keep that character fresh for at least 6 months that means you're doing the show eight times a week. ↗

— Joe Morton

#character #create #doing #eight #fresh

Did you see me disarm Hermione, Harry?" "Only once" said Hermione stung. "I got you loads more then you got me-" "I did not only get you once, I got you at least three times-" "Well if you're counting the one where you tripped over your own feet and knocked the wand out of my hand- ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #hermione-granger #humor #ron-weasley #humor

Wild!" Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again... and again... and again... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #humor

If we were to hit the level that Metallica or somebody like that hit, we'd have had a hard time dealing with it. I think it would have been our doom. It's hard for anybody at that level. ↗

— Jerry Only

#been #dealing #doom #had #hard

Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#fred-weasley #humor #humor