#waiter

The only purpose in making an appointment is to prolong the anticipation of one's presence. That’s why when I make dinner reservations, I hardly ever show up. It ensures the waiters are doing their job properly. ↗

— Bauvard

#dinner #funny #humor #reservations #servers

When I was a kid, like 14 or 15, I played with the waiters from the hotel, 'cause that was the best game. And these guys, they'd let me play. And they were black guys. ↗

— Larry Bird

#black #cause #game #guys #hotel

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.' ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#asked #fresh #grass #hours #i

I don't think you should be allowed to eat in a restaurant if you haven't waited tables at least once. It's so irritating when I see people being rude to waiters, like, it makes me want to slit their throats! Like, really? You're really this inconsiderate? ↗

— Lizzy Caplan

#being #eat #haven #i #i see

I like L.A. It's like a mini break. For a writer, it's hilarious. Like the food. Where I come from, we eat chip sandwiches: white bread, butter, tomato catsup and big fat french fries. It's delicious. Here, you order a creme caramel and the waiter says, 'You know, that contains dairy.' ↗

— Helen Fielding

#bread #break #butter #chip #come

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#cheese #french #frog #get #got

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#birthday #ever #get #had #her

I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky. ↗

— Jane Fonda

#attendant #being #i #like #lucky

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter. ↗

— Don Herold

#good #good thing #life #seems #serious

Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. ↗