#val

The next time somebody announces that he plans to get Medieval on your ass, tell him you're going to get Renaissance on his gonads. ↗

— James K. Morrow

#humor #medieval #renaissance #humor

You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last present you gave me was a stick.” “You wanted a weapon.” “It was a stick.” “It had a bow on it.” “It was a stick.” “I thought you liked the stick. You laughed. ↗

— Derek Landy

#presents #skulduggery-pleasant #stick #valkyrie-cain #weapon

My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#expansive #expensive #funny #humor #life

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #humor #love #naughty

I would have to break the ice with a warm smile that would melt her heart. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#humor #love #olympus #percy #valentine

When I was a kid we played cowboys and Indians, and I always wanted to be an Indian when I grew up. ↗

— Ville Valo

#cowboys-and-indians #games #grow #humor #pursue

And at that moment, a lilting melody lifts to the moon as a single sparrow sings. ↗

— Lisa Ann Sandell

#medieval #love

Prove that you love me through a lingering gaze, and never losing that twinkle of adoration in your eyes. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#adoration #love #lovers #richelle #richelle-goodrich

Is is seldom possible to say of the medievals that they *always* did one thing and *never* another; they were marvelously inconsistent. ↗

— Thomas Cahill

#medival #middle-ages #age

Just hear me out. While you were napping, I was busy chatting up our allies. Didn't you know--your woman's a golden-tongued ambassador! My sisters always said I graduated from the shock-and-awe school of diplomacy, but joke 'em if they can't take a fuck, right? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#berserker #declan-chase #dreams-of-a-dark-warrior #immortals-after-dark #kresley-cole