#undertaker

Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs. ↗

— Florence King

#about #already #being #jobs #like

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. ↗

— Mark Twain

#die #even #let us #live #sorry

As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#depression #humor #undertakers #death

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. ↗

— Denis Waitley

#being #dead #dead end #defeat #delay

There is a great supply of amateur undertakers in show business. ↗

— Ethel Waters

#business #great #show #show business #supply

My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama. ↗

— Fred Allen

#planter #southern #uncle #undertaker

My father was the funniest man I ever met. He made Redd Foxx look like an undertaker. ↗

— Henry Louis Gates

#father #funniest #i #like #look

Boxing is the only sport you can get your brain shook, your money took and your name in the undertaker book. ↗