#u

You like my kisses - and I like kissing you. Why deny ourselves such innocent pleasure? ↗

— Stephanie Laurens

#love #humor

The only way to cry your eyes out and laugh your ass off at the same time is to have your mom or girlfriends present. Without them, the laughing part wouldn't be nearly as fun. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#despair #girlfriends #humor #laughing #moms

You can give me detention. Oh, wait, that's right...you aren't the boss of me. So I guess you can just bite me. -Dean ↗

— Jeff Mariotte

#humor #sarcasm #science-fiction #humor

As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#shakespeare #humor

The political brain is shaped like a peanut, only not as big.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #peanuts #politics #humor

My dad was a fairy," said Zach. "And by that I don't mean he dressed well and enjoyed musical theatre. ↗

— Ben Aaronovitch

#humor

1980's: not a time period but a state of mind. ↗

— Carrie Vaughn

#inspirational #nostalgia #humor

He was one of those people with lots of intelligence but no brains ↗

— Joseph Heller

#humor

They'll torture you for months before killing you if you run" Otis shrugged, as if this was an everyday occurrence. ↗

— Heather Brewer

#morbid #otis #run #running #vampire

Oh come on, you talk so much shit I can smell it on your breath. ↗

— Suzanne Wright

#humor #humor