#tub

I lay on the ground, but then I can't reach - I don't want to take my foot out of the tub - but I've got to call somebody because I've got to get a band-aid or something to stop the bleeding. ↗

— Danny DeVito

#bleeding #call #foot #get #got

To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture. ↗

— Thomas Paine

#simile #stubbornness #scripture

She can't help it,' he said. 'She's got the soul of a poet and the emotional makeup of a junkyard dog. ↗

— Stephen King

#soul #stubborn #women #emotion

I just peed in the sink. Why? Because there was already somebody in the bathtub.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bathtub #humor #pee #sink #humor

Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub? ↗

— Norton Juster

#bathtub #fantasy #fiction #hearing #kids

I don't know why I had to fall in love with someone who's more stubborn than I am. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#love

Friend, we are well met indeed. I think we are a pair of fools and that we should hasten to Nildren's Peak, where I shall buy ye such a dinner as even your great frame will find sufficient. And then we shall see who can drink the other under the table. Is that good by ye? ↗

— Ian Livingstone

#barbarians #carl-sargent #dwarves #funny #ian-livingstone

Excuse me for a moment, will ye. I think I have to talk to the river,' he said unsteadily and flopped over the side-rail. ↗

— Ian Livingstone

#fantasy #funny #humour #stubble #zagor

Well, anyway, this'll be easier than knocking an elf out of a tree. Trust me.' 'How many elves have you knocked out of trees, Stubble?' 'Duraden's bones! Have ye never heard of a figure of speech? ↗

— Ian Livingstone

#dialogue #fantasy #funny #stubble #zagor

I'm trying to compliment you," Barclay say. "Can't you just say thanks? ↗

— Elizabeth Norris

#lol #stubborn #lol