#toilet

Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden. ↗

— Bauvard

#confession #funny #humor #prostration #toilet

I walk into rooms and I don't know why I'm there. I'm like, 'Why am I standing in front of the toilet now?' ↗

— Matthew Broderick

#front #i #into #know #like

I'm cleaning toilets for $30 a day, because I needed that $30, and people are pointing at me, saying, Look at the big movie star. Look where he is now. I just said, I'm where God put me. ↗

— Willie Aames

#big #big movie #cleaning #day #god

Tonight the city is full of morgues, and all the toilets are overflowing. There's shopping malls coming out of the walls, as we walk out among the manure. That's why I pay no mind. ↗

— Beck

#city #coming #full #i #malls

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. ↗

— George Carlin

#candy #chocolate #eating #feeling #know

I think the bottom line for me and for Newsweek is that there were a lot of - we did retract this specific matter about the Koran and the toilet for the reasons that you just cited. ↗

— Michael Isikoff

#bottom #bottom line #cited #did #i

It's been said that adults spend the first two years of their children's lives trying to make them walk and talk, and the next sixteen years trying to get them to sit down and shut up. It's the same way with potty training: Most adults spend the first few years of a child's life cheerfully discussing pee and poopies, and how important it is to learn to put your pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty like big people do. But once children have mastered the art of toilet training, they are immeadiately forbidden to ever talk about poop, pee, toilets and other bathroom-related subjects again. Such things are now considered rude and vulgar, and are no longer rewarded with praise and cookies and juice boxes. One day you're a superstar because you pooped in the toilet like a big boy, and the next day you're sitting in the principal's office because you said the word "poopy" in American History class (which, if you ask me, is the perfect place to say that word). ↗

— Dav Pilkey

#potty-humor #toilet-training #art

In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot. ↗

— Patti Smith

#changed #children #citizen #cleaned #diapers

Writers often have the cleanest windows, floors, fridges and toilets, the most up-to-date filing system or the best record for returning calls or e-mails because, in the moment, just about any task seems more palatable than sitting down to write.” (p.136) ↗

— Mark David Gerson

#filing #floors #fridges #returning-calls #toilets

Yeah...I finally understood it... That exchanging information... Sharing time... The act of "let's go to the bathroom together" was the holy ritual of confirming one's friendship... Until now I was an idiot doing stupid things. ↗

— Taishi Zaou

#friendship #toilet #friendship