#toilet

Tonight the city is full of morgues, and all the toilets are overflowing. There's shopping malls coming out of the walls, as we walk out among the manure. That's why I pay no mind. ↗

— Beck

#city #coming #full #i #malls

I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I'm certainly not going to go on somebody's lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress? ↗

— Farrah Fawcett

#certainly #cocktail #could #days #dress

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. ↗

— George Carlin

#candy #chocolate #eating #feeling #know

I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. ↗

— Megan Fox

#clothes #end #flush #forget #horrible

It's been said that adults spend the first two years of their children's lives trying to make them walk and talk, and the next sixteen years trying to get them to sit down and shut up. It's the same way with potty training: Most adults spend the first few years of a child's life cheerfully discussing pee and poopies, and how important it is to learn to put your pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty like big people do. But once children have mastered the art of toilet training, they are immeadiately forbidden to ever talk about poop, pee, toilets and other bathroom-related subjects again. Such things are now considered rude and vulgar, and are no longer rewarded with praise and cookies and juice boxes. One day you're a superstar because you pooped in the toilet like a big boy, and the next day you're sitting in the principal's office because you said the word "poopy" in American History class (which, if you ask me, is the perfect place to say that word). ↗

— Dav Pilkey

#potty-humor #toilet-training #art

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. ↗

— Richard M. Nixon

#castro #even #go #nickel #put

In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot. ↗

— Patti Smith

#changed #children #citizen #cleaned #diapers

Staying with detractors is like sleeping in a room located just behind the public toilet. You will never feel comfortable until you relocate. ↗

— Israelmore Ayivor

#change-your-life #comfortable #detractors #dislike #enemies

If I owned a house that had a bathroom with no toilet, only a urinal, I’d call that the number one room, and I could easily both describe it and point to it with one finger. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #toilet #urinal #funny

The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish. ↗

— Thomas Lynch

#civilized #toilet #life