#toilet

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#consistently #fall #get #go #leave

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper. ↗

— Billy Wilder

#falls #france #hands #money #paper

France is the country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper. ↗

— Billy Wilder

#country #falls #france #money #paper

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger. ↗

— Jonny Wilkinson

#burger #case #even #fast-food #go

This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and shows how my thinking has changed. It shows me telling a story through the surreal and trying to use thought fragments alone to show a tortured existence. This piece was written after the Dear Natalies and before the Agatha mystery, but it is meant to be read after you’ve already read both. This book is a bridge between two books, which would make it a bridge between two bridges. That’s strange, but I’ve seen stranger. Like the time I woke up in a fish tank, having morphed into a goldfish during my sleep. I still fear the sound of a flushing toilet, and since then I refuse to let myself fall asleep while wearing flippers. This book is 3,088 words of pure nonsense, strung together like pearls hurled at bacon. Yum! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bacon #biograhy #book-bio #books #bridge

If I owned a house that had a bathroom with no toilet, only a urinal, I’d call that the number one room, and I could easily both describe it and point to it with one finger. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #toilet #urinal #funny

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. ↗

— Rod Serling

#both #dancing #difficult #documentary #every

The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish. ↗

— Thomas Lynch

#civilized #toilet #life

When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed. ↗

— Jennifer Aniston

#buy #changed #follows #know #life

I'm cleaning toilets for $30 a day, because I needed that $30, and people are pointing at me, saying, Look at the big movie star. Look where he is now. I just said, I'm where God put me. ↗

— Willie Aames

#big #big movie #cleaning #day #god