#toilet

If they had told me I was the janitor and would have to mop up and clean the toilets after the show in order to play, I probably would have done it. ↗

— Bruce Springsteen

#clean #done #had #i #janitor

Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse. ↗

— Howard Stern

#bowl #build #every #every time #go

Schools across India do not have teachers, libraries, playing grounds and even toilets. I do not want to see empty classrooms, empty libraries. I do not want to see cattle grazing on fields meant to be cricket or football grounds. ↗

— Sachin Tendulkar

#cattle #classrooms #cricket #empty #even

We were called The Toilets originally - we were flushed with success. ↗

— Mike Peters

#flushed #originally #success #toilets #were

We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.' 'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use. ↗

— Adam Rex

#humor #toilet #humor

the more you stared up crap the more it's going to smell (/) ↗

— Mary Sumner

#drama #gossip #poop-in-toilets #trouble #gossip

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humorous #sex #humor

Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden. ↗

— Bauvard

#confession #funny #humor #prostration #toilet

As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne. ↗

— Dan Brown

#dan-brown #funny #humor #robert-langdon #toilet

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #toilet-tissue #humor