#to

I never realized I was so notorious. Infamous, disreputable, villainous, yes, but not notorious. ↗

— Bauvard

#evil #funny #humor #infamous #notorious

This is Simba," Nicole said, pointing to the lion. "Is he dangerous?" Asked Chase. "Not really. He mauled a trainer, but nothing much. ↗

— Roland Smith

#runners #storm #funny

What's your angle?" I asked, trying to sound more playful than demanding. "Isosceles," Jack quipped. ↗

— Amanda Hocking

#math-humor #quip #retort #humor

Can I just ask, after we find this guy, can we talk about the Vibrator Ceremony? I’m thinking of making us all kind of choir like robes to wear but with sequins and some satin sashes as belts. Maybe in chartreuse. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#vibrator #funny

Inconvenience in progress, work is regretted. ↗

— Aravind Adiga

#aravind #funny #humor #humour #last

(About a cookbook...) - What about this one? Maids of Honor? - Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny-and-random #humor #humorous #retort #satire

A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument...and the occasional bar fight. ↗

— J. Michael Strazynski

#humor #j-michael-strazynski #story #writing #funny

Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden. ↗

— Bauvard

#confession #funny #humor #prostration #toilet

The dawn blushed; not because it was embarrassed (that doesn’t even make sense), but because light bends funny. ↗

— Sean Kermes

#funny

If I were you, I'd go and do that. : Vikalp That's why you're not me! : Yatharth. ↗

— Shubham Choudhary

#funny #my-ex-fell-in-love #funny