#tire

The tire left a skid mark on the road that looked like a mustache. So I shaved it off the pavement, stuffed it in my trunk, and took it home to wear to work the next day. Ah, but that’s life, no?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#day #life #mustache #nonsense #pavement

After we deal and heal...NOT A A SHRED OF EVIDENCE EXISTS THAT LIFE IS SERIOUS .....Jan Marshall ↗

— Jan Marshall

#healing #humor #satire #seniors #survival

Books that have become classics - books that have had their day and now get more praise than perusal - always remind me of retired colonels and majors and captains who, having reached the age limit, find themselves retired on half pay. ↗

— Thomas Bailey Aldrich

#always #become #books #captains #classics

Marriage is the legal method devised to end love without pain. ↗

— Tom Morrison

#romance #satire #stock-market #love

Some men are born sodomites, some achieve sodomy, and some have sodomy thrust upon them... ↗

— Aleister Crowley

#satire #sodomy #men

But that's men all over ... Poor dears, they can't help it. They haven't got logical minds. ↗

— Dorothy L. Sayers

#logic #logical-thinking #men #satire #men

It was ironic, but when you scratched the surface, most successful men were working for one thing only--to retire--and the sooner the better. Whereas women were the complete opposite. She had never heard a woman say she was working so she could retire to a desert island or to live on a boat. It was probably, she thought, because most women didn't think they deserved to do nothing. ↗

— Candace Bushnell

#retire #success #women #working #men

They see nothing indecent in sexual intercourse, whether heterosexual or homosexual, and indulge in it quite openly, in full view of everyone. The only exception was Socrates, who was always swearing that his relations with young men were purely Platonic, but nobody believed him for a moment, and Hyacinthus and Narcissus gave first-hand evidence to the contrary. ↗

— Lucian of Samosata

#satire #love

After riding like a moron all over the place, observes the face of an Indian when he crashes. He is stunned. ↗

— Manu Joseph

#men

Lisa blamed Twilight, and the preconceived notions about men (especially dangerous men) that it tended to form in the impressionable adolescent mind. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#men #satire #twilight #men