#tire

Shall I faint, now that I have poured out the spirit of my mind to the world, and treated many subjects with truth, with freedom, with power, because I have been followed with one cry of abuse ever since for not being a Government tool? ↗

— William Hazlitt

#freedom #government-tool #porup-satire #truth #united-states-of-air

She looked at her note cards and took a breath. "Why I Love America, by Hayley McDonald's. America is the greatest group of countries in the world because we have freedom. In countries like France, where the Government isn't privatized, they still have to pay tax and do whatever the Government says, which would really suck. In USA countries, we respect individual rights and let people do whatever they want. ↗

— Max Barry

#capitalism #satire #tax #freedom

I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#purposeful-errors #tiredness #funny

LEARN FROM THE MASTERS: Mark Twain once said, “Show, don’t tell.” This is an incredibly important lesson for writers to remember; never get such a giant head that you feel entitled to throw around obscure phrases like “Show, don’t tell.” Thanks for nothing, Mr. Cryptic. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#humor #satire #writing #funny

Ivanov: Once I worked hard and thought a lot but I never got tired; now I do nothing and think of nothing, but I'm tired in body and spirit. My conscience aches day and night, I feel deeply guilty but I don't understand where I am actually at fault. And add to that my wife's illness, my lack of money, the constant bickering, gossip, unnecessary conversations, that stupid Borkin... My home has become loathsome to me and I find living there worse than torture. ↗

— Anton Chekhov

#tired #torture #whining #home

He would be a consul no doubt by and by, at some foreign port, of the language of which he was ignorant; though if ignorance of language were a qualification he might have been a consul at home. ↗

— Mark Twain

#home

He could hear that musket ball droning about the room, lethally bisecting it again and again like a billiard ball going from one cushion to another. He remained crouching there for a long time before he was able to convince himself that it was quite impossible, physically speaking, scientifically speaking, for a musket ball to go on and on ricocheting like that in a rectangular room; it could only be his imagination. So he forced himself to stand up again and suffered no ill-effects; a small but significant triumph for the scientific way of looking at things. ↗

— J.G. Farrell

#satire #science #superstition #imagination

She is probably by this time as tired of me, as I am of her; but as she is too Polite and I am too civil to say so, our letters are still as frequent and affectionate as ever, and our Attachment as firm and sincere as when it first commenced. ↗

— Jane Austen

#jane-austen #letters #love-and-friendship #loyalty #pen-pals

We can be tired, weary and emotionally distraught, but after spending time alone with God, we find that He injects into our bodies energy, power and strength. ↗

— Charles Stanley

#after #alone #bodies #emotionally #energy

The retirement system that is in place for members of Congress and other federal workers features what is known as the Federal Employment Retirement Plan. ↗

— Virgil Goode

#employment #features #federal #known #members