#tire

Uh, excuse me, sir, I, uh, don't known how to uh, to uh, tell you this, but you were three minutes late. The schedule is a little, uh, bit off." He grinned sheepishly. "That's ridiculous!" murmured the Ticktockman behind his mask. "Check your watch." And then he went into his office, going mrmee, mrmee, mrmee, mrmee. ↗

— Harlan Ellison

#science-fiction #science

The birthing wolf, Her heart fed with tenderness, Gave forth from ripe brown nipples, Food to feed the universe. ↗

— Roman Payne

#hope-and-despair #payne #poem #roman #roman-payne

Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly. ↗

— Melissa Jo Peltier

#reality-tv #satire #television #humor

Though firm, we are never too firm, though we love fun, we never have fun in a silly way that makes us appear ridiculous, unless that is our intent. ↗

— George Saunders

#humor #satire #humor

Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health. ↗

— Edgar Allan Poe

#satire #humor

Love turns, with little indulgence, to indifference or disgust: hatred alone is immortal. ↗

— William Hazlitt

#love #satire #love

Invisible things are the only realities. ↗

— Edgar Allan Poe

#satire #humor

Eric, you need to look at the whole picture," the PM said. "You look at the jobless as a huge pile of scrap and you're looking for what can be recycled. That's good. That's your job. But what you don't realise is that this pile of scrap itself serves a purpose. I need my zeros, Eric. They put fear in people; fear of crime and terrorism. They are a stark reminder to the stakeholders that what they despise today, they may end up joining tomorrow. It keeps them obedient. Remember that! ↗

— Mark Cantrell

#government #satire #science-fiction #society #unemployment

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization. ↗

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

#civilization

Bride, n. - A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#happiness #humor #marriage #matrimony #satire