#tire

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#humor #offences #satire #humor

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny #humor #humorous #irony #satire

I’m tired of pretending, tired of acting like everything’s okay, tired of not being with him… ↗

— Terra Elan McVoy

#love #pretending #tired #love

No one washes their hands after they piss unless they’re in a public place. If I’m at the airport, or a restaurant, and someone else is there, I’ll soap up for the sake of civilization, but it’s only for show, I don’t really care if I have ultraviolet traces of urine or feces on my hands. But, if I see someone walk oudda the men’s without soaping up I’ll think he’s deranged, borderline psychotic. At least pretend that washing your hands matters. You know, for the sake of civilization. ↗

— Shannon Lyndsy

#hygiene #satire #humor

I said never mix business with pleasure. They said it was a pleasure doing business with me. ↗

— Nikhil Sharda

#humourous #puns #satire-write #business

Ma il coraggio era anche quello. Era la consapevolezza che l'insuccesso fosse comunque il frutto di un tentativo. Che talvolta è meglio perdersi sulla strada di un viaggio impossibile che non partire mai. ↗

— Giorgio Faletti

#coraggio #love #partire #travel #viaggio

Nothing helps your partner keep his mind on Jesus more than having a sign of His love tanned on your primary erogenous zones. ↗

— Scott B. Pruden

#humorous-quotes #immaculate-deception #satire #science-fiction #science-fiction-comedy

I just saw the movie for the first time in its entirely last night. It's really cool when you're in with an audience that's so tuned in and plugged in to what's going on. ↗

— Sasha Alexander

#cool #entirely #first #first time #going

Stage work, that's all I have in my background. Wasteland was my first TV experience. Dawson's was my first long-term, I mean the entire season of 22 episodes. ↗

— Sasha Alexander

#dawson #entire #episodes #experience #first

My father is a man of impeccable character who has worked tirelessly for the United Nations for many years. His integrity is beyond reproach. ↗

— Kojo Annan

#character #father #his #impeccable #integrity