#tire

Not only do I sing to him, I sing entire conversations. You become Jerry Lewis. ↗

— Paul Reiser

#conversations #entire #him #i #jerry

We were putting into these gomers our fear of death, but who knew if they feared death? Perhaps they welcomed death like a dear long-lost cousin, grown old but still known, coming to visit, relieving the loneliness, the failing of the senses, the fury of the half-blind looking into the mirror and not recognizing who is looking back, a dear friend, a dear reliever, a healer who would be with them for an eternity, the same eternity as the long ago, before birth. ↗

— Samuel Shem

#satire #death

I turned on Fox News and jumped when I saw that they had one of those things in their studio. "Are you people crazy?" I screamed at the television. "Get out of there. Somebody shoot it!" Then I realized I was watching Special Report and had mistaken Charles Krauthammer for a zombie. ↗

— Ian McClellan

#media #political #politics #satire #zombies

I promised I will always protect you. You've been wounded badly because I've failed to keep that promise. [...] But I won´t fail you in this, Rachel. no matter what has happened. No matter what you've done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you. I swear it. ↗

— C.J. Redwine

#logan-mcentire #love #science-fiction #whyyyyyy #young-adult

For you, my darlings, freedom to do what you like is the discovery of how unlikable what you like to do makes you. Not that that stops you doing what you like, since you like doing what you like more than you like liking what you do... [Lucifer] ↗

— Glen Duncan

#satire #theology #freedom

Ma il coraggio era anche quello. Era la consapevolezza che l'insuccesso fosse comunque il frutto di un tentativo. Che talvolta è meglio perdersi sulla strada di un viaggio impossibile che non partire mai. ↗

— Giorgio Faletti

#coraggio #love #partire #travel #viaggio

How rude of me, we haven’t even introduced ourselves. We’re the Andersons. I’m Evan, the lovely size-zero lass in the floppy sun hat is my wife Amy, and these are our best friends/children, Evan and Amy Jr. As you can see, we’re very fit and active. You know what our family’s average percentage of body fat is? Three. Yes, really. We got it tested last year when we all became organ donors. You may have noticed that I’m carrying Amy on my back. We do that a lot. At least once a day, and not just when we’re in fields like this; we do it on beaches and in urban environments as well. That’s what happens when your love is deep and playful like ours. You should also know that we also dab frosting on each other’s noses every single time we eat cupcakes, which is both mischievous and very us. Do you guys even eat cupcakes? ↗

— Colin Nissan

#funny #humor #perfection #satire #family

Nothing helps your partner keep his mind on Jesus more than having a sign of His love tanned on your primary erogenous zones. ↗

— Scott B. Pruden

#humorous-quotes #immaculate-deception #satire #science-fiction #science-fiction-comedy

Jason Mashak’s SALTY AS A LIP is grounded in a voice patiently bridging the “steeples and ‘scrapers” of an inquisitive mind. The poems are at once syllogistic, hard-edged, satirical, reflective, and finally as playful as love notes. The true joy of this book is that we are deliciously engaged in a "pantomime of pleasure" which the language and imagery generously evoke. ↗

— James Ragan

#satire #love

After having so nobly disentangled themselves from the shackles of Parental Authority, by a Clandestine Marriage, they were determined never to forfeit the good opinion they had gained in the World, in so doing, by accepting any proposals of reconciliation that might be offered them by their Fathers – to their farther trial of their noble independence however they never were exposed. ↗

— Jane Austen

#jane-austen #love-and-friendship #marriage #parents #satire