#th

Orion brightened. "I have an idea." "Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained. "Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#atlantis #birthmarks #complex #foaly #humor

It's a funny place, this world. Hate has rights. Love has none. ↗

— Torey Hayden

#truth #funny

To stop smelling is to stop breathing; people only really inhale the essence of life when they pass gas. ↗

— Bauvard

#farting #funny #humor #life #funny

Breaking into the house in the middle of the night just wasn't his style. He did his best work in plain view, and, usually, his tongue was doing most of it. Now that was an interesting thought. Heh. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny #ilona-andrews #kaldar #the-edge #tongue

A forest," William said, his expression distant. "Where the ground is dry soil and stone. Where tall trees grow and centuries of autumn carpet their roots. Where the wind smells of game and wildflowers." "Why, that was lovely, Lord Bill. Do you ever write poetry? Something for your blueblood lady?" "No." "She doesn't like poetry?" "Leave it." Hehe. "Oh, so you have a lady. How interes-- ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#cerise #funny #ilona-andrews #the-edge #william

Cara: *Flies* Gen: What? I don't have wings! Cara: Ofcourse not! You're a boy. ↗

— Jim Henson

#funny #the-dark-crystal #wings #women-power #funny

Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#cerise #fate-s-edge #funny #ilona-andrews #the-edge

I worry about identity theft. What’s to stop somebody from cloning me to drain the cash from my bank account? And it’d be just as easy for my clone to pretend to be me as it is for me to pretend to be me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #identity-theft #funny

Nix: We're not leaving without her. So unless you want permanent houseguests of the destructive sort, just hand her over. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#immortals-after-dark #kresley-cole #nix-the-ever-knowing #funny

What's your angle?" I asked, trying to sound more playful than demanding. "Isosceles," Jack quipped. ↗

— Amanda Hocking

#math-humor #quip #retort #humor