#tap

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #the-new-yorker #humor

I have to return some videotapes ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#bale #bret #christian #easton #ellis

When I die of heart failure the next time you frighten me like that, you can put that on my gravestone —‘I didn’t mean to startle her ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#epitaph #humor #masques #humor

Metaphors are dangerous, Metaphors are not to be trifled with. A single metaphor can give birth to love. ↗

— Milan Kundera

#metaphors #milan-kundera #love

One can never "fall" in love, you must rise to it's level of consciousness. Love is not a feeling, it's a state of MIND! ↗

— T.C. Carrier

#black-studies #metaphysics #self-help #sexuality #spirituality

The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #memory #metaphor #recollection #humor

The verse is supposed to get you hard so the chorus can suck you off. ↗

— M. Thomas Gammarino

#humor #metaphor #music #humor

[Francesca] 'You really are a few biscuits short of breakfast.' His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 'You're a few colors shy of a rainbow?' she offered. 'Not pulling a full wagon? Knitting with only one needle? All foam and no beer? Your cheese slid off the cracker? You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel?' [Nicodemus] 'All right. I get it. ↗

— Blake Charlton

#insults #metaphor #stupidity #humor

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby. ↗

— Criss Jami

#belief #clever #comparison #control #crying

The best thing about being a cartoonist is to walk into a bar or someone's apartment and they don't know you, but they've taped one of your pieces up. ↗

— Ted Rall

#apartment #bar #being #best #cartoonist