#t

Okay, so, flying,” I started, taking a deep breath and focusing on the thing I loved most in the world. “Flying is … great. It feels great when you’re doing it. It’s fun. Pure freedom. There’s nothing better.” Dylan smiled, a slow, easy smile that seemed to light up his whole face. “So the first thing we’re going to do,” I told him, “is push you off the roof. ↗

— James Patterson

#funny #humor #lol #smile #smooth

He’d done it like he did everything else—with passion and total disregard for how much it might embarrass her. ↗

— Kaylea Cross

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

I've got everything ready to go," I said once he was finally awake and dressed. All the tenderness and vulnerability was gone from his face when he said, "Go where?" "America?" His eyes narrowed. "This is America." "This is Canada." "Which is in North America." Silly Canadians wanting be part of the Cool Kids Club. ↗

— Tammy Blackwell

#funny-quotes #funny

মিথ্যা হলো শয়তানের বিয়ের মন্ত্র। মিথ্যা বললেই শয়তানের বিয়ে হয়। বিয়ে হওয়া মানেই সন্তান-সন্ততি হওয়া। একটা মিথ্যার পর আরো অনেকগুলি মিথ্যা বলতে হয় এই কারণেই।পরের মিথ্যাগুলি শয়তানের সন্তান। ↗

— Humayun Ahmed

#lie #satan #funny

Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#bad-company #bad-influence #evil #evil-people #evil-thoughts

And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first! ↗

— Susan Kay

#funny #humor #ironic #irony #satire

There is an enduring freshness in what remains strange and obscure which the cliches of greatness can only evoke nostalgia for. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #greatness #humor #obscurity #funny

If you marry an abortion doctor you won't have to be ashamed to tell your children they're adopted. ↗

— Bauvard

#adoption #funny #humor #funny

Let me get this straight. I can't take the vampire with me because if I remove the stake, he can kill us all. Now I can't take the girl because she's what? some kind of ninja witch? ↗

— Tate Hallaway

#tall-dark-and-dead #tate-hallway #funny

Life is too short to dance with ugly men ↗

— Christina Dodd

#funny #so-true #funny