#suck

Inspector, there's no smoking allowed in here," said a uniformed officer who had been called to the scene. Cavuto waved to the drawers [at the morgue]. "Do you think they mind?" The officer shook his head. "No, sir." Cavuto blew a stream of smoke at Gilbert [a dead guy]. "And him, do you think he minds?" No, sir." And you, Patrolman Jeeter, you don't mind, do you?" Jeeter cleared his throat. "Uh...no, sir." Well, good," Cavuto said. "Look, on the side of the car, Jeeter. It says 'Protect and Serve' not 'Piss and Moan.'" Yes, sir. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#christopher-moore #love

You first," Tommy said. They stood in the great room of their loft on either side of the futon, where the huge cat, a crossbreed between a Persian, a dust mop, and possibly a water buffalo, was actively shedding. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#you-suck #love

Inside, I was like: "Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter! ↗

— Christopher Moore

#you-suck #love

I was all, "Oh, dog, Countess gonna crack open a forty of whup-ass on you now. Oh, you in the sh*t now, wigga!" (I am not incline to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French, it just better expresses the sentiment of the moment.) -Abby ↗

— Christopher Moore

#you-suck #love

George Bush isn't Hitler. He could be if he applied himself. ↗

— Margaret Cho

#humor #humor

What are you talking about?" Narcissus demanded. "I am amazing. Everyone knows this." "Amazing at pure suck," Leo said. "If I was as suck as you, I'd drown myself. Oh wait, you already did that. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#narcissistic #narcissus #suck #humor

There are certain things in life that just suck. Pouring a big bowl of Lucky Charms before realizing the milk is expired, the word 'moist,' falling face-first into the salad bar in front of the entire lacrosse team . . . ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#life-sucks #humor

Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs?" -Tommy ↗

— Christopher Moore

#you-suck #love

When I like someone a lot, I get scared that I'll let them down. My fear of sucking is worst when I feel like someone thinks I'm good. ↗

— Casey Affleck

#fear #feel #get #good #i

People wonder why first-time directors can make a brilliant picture, then suck on the second one. It's because they're a little terrified the first time. So they listen to all the experts around them. ↗

— James Caan

#because #brilliant #directors #experts #first