#stephanie

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#joe-morelli #morelli #stephanie-plum #death

I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want? ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#money

Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here." I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#romance #stephanie-plum-ranger #funny

My sex life is okay." "Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#joe-morelli #stephanie-plum #humor

As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. "That's a rocket launcher!" "Yep," Lula said. "It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#lula #stephanie #humor

Why do you give me cars?" "It's fun," Ranger said."And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?" "You love me?" "Yes." A sigh inadvertently escaped. "We're really screwed up, aren't we?" "In a very large way," Ranger said. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#sizzling-sixteen #stephanie-plum #love

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#exercise #humor #plum #stephanie-plum #humor

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #humor

I paused for a light at Hamilton and TWlfth and noticed the Nissan was running rough at idle. Two blocks later it backfired and stalled. I coaxed it into the center of the city. Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! A Trans Am pulled up next to me at a light. The Trans Am was filled with high school kids. One of them stuck his head out of the passenger-side window. "Hey lady," he said. "Sounds like you got a fartmobile." I flipped him an Italian goodwill gesture and pulled the ball cap low on my forehead. (Three to get Deadly) ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #humor

Don’t fall in love with me,” She whispered harshly, a sob catching in her throat. “I know you probably think I’m egotistical saying this, but I need your promise that you won’t do that. If you want to stay friends – or whatever the hell we’re heading towards, you have to promise me you won’t love me – not now, not ever.” - Stephanie Carovella, Damaged. ↗

— Nina D'Angelo

#dominic-delaney #love #romance #stephanie-carovella #love