#squirrel

A squirrel attacked me. I got attacked by a squirrel in Battersea Park. They're dangerous. It's rare. I've torn most of the ligaments in my knee. So no football for me. It's early retirement now. I've got a floating knee-cap! ↗

— Niall Horan

#dangerous #early #floating #football #got

This squirrel is inadequately afraid of humans! Squirrel, I am a threat to you! We are enemies! Please get off my bench! Oh, god! Oh, god! Don't touch me—oh, god! ↗

— John Green

#humor #john-green #squirrels #humor

I gave away two dogs years ago because I felt guilty at not being able to give them the time and attention they deserved. I now regularly feed an army of squirrels and wild birds around our house. ↗

— Mike Farrell

#ago #army #around #attention #away

I've been stocking my nuts away like a squirrel for 15 years. I don't have kids, I don't have a wife. I own my own house. I don't owe anybody for it so I put my nuts away. I really made a commitment to myself to just do what I like to do and want to do, and not to do anything. I'm not even going to give six weeks away for money anymore, you know? ↗

— John Corbett

#anymore #anything #away #been #commitment