#snicket

If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#lemony-snicket #schm #humor

A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded. ↗

— Daniel Handler

#ignorance #lemony-snicket #library #humor

I'm jealous of your hooks," Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands." Don't be ridiculous," one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations." But you have a white face because you put makeup on," Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #humor #lemony #slippery-slope #snicket

At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#courage #good #lemony-snicket #series-of-unforunate-events #courage

Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#inspirational #lemony-snicket #experience

Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#lemony-snicket #money #occupy-wall-street #money

It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#business

Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally. "No," Sunny answered. "Me neither," Violet said, "but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#ersatz-elevator #lemony-snicket #waiting #courage

What a schmuck! ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #kids-lit #lemony-snickets #series-of-unfortunate-events #funny

If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." "We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man." "Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#clever #count-olaf #funny-humor #intelligent #lemony-snicket