#snark

Words cannot express my disappointment that I must pass on the invitation to once again witness your gelatinous buttocks swaying as you try to climb a greased pole naked in search of athletic glory. Sadly, the last occasion on which I witnessed this event had a deleterious effect on my psyche for which I am still seeking the attention of a therapist. A.C. Kemp as Lady Arabella Snark ↗

— A.C. Kemp

#insult #snark #humor

You're just jealous." "Hardly. Been there, done you. Adequate, but unremarkable. ↗

— Jennifer Estep

#sex #snarky-remarks #jealousy

[startling Giles by walking in on him singing] (Spike) You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his résumé, you might wanna cast an eye to the front door every now and again. ↗

— Doug Petrie

#humour #irony #snark #irony

If the apocalypse comes...beep me! ↗

— Joss Whedon

#buffy-the-vampire-slayer #humour #snark #apocalypse

As expected, the church lady grumbled something incoherent and put Bridget’s call on hold. A peppy rendition of “City of God” blared as hold music just long enough for Bridget to start to sing along with the chorus. Catholic brainwashing at its best. ↗

— Gretchen McNeil

#city-of-god #religion #snark #music

You will not pass!” Roman thundered. Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny #gandalf #gunmetal-magic #ilona-andrews #lotr

Mal: Doctor, I'm taking your sister under my protection. If any thing happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#humour #snark #sisters

You didn’t feed from her,” he said, and this was not a question. “Swill poison? Not my kind of fun, little brother.” One corner of Stefan’s mouth quirked up. He made no response to this, but simply looked at Damon with eyes that were... knowing. Damon bridled. “I told the truth!” “Going to take it up as a hobby? ↗

— L.J. Smith

#humanity #humor #snark #humor

how devastated I am to say that I will not be present at your petite soiree on June 10th. Unfortunately, the exceptionally weak drinks you ordinarily serve at these occasions are not sufficient to dull my senses to your boyfriend's futile efforts to grope me in the hallway. ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#insults #snark #humor

How many kids are in the Graveyard?" "A bunch." "Who sends your supplies?" "George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget." "How often do you receive new arrivals?" "About as often as you beat your wife. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#humorous #risa-ward #sarcasm #sarcastic #snark