#snark

I understand that you don’t want to marry me,” I said. “I mean, I don’t know why, since I’m simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste. ↗

— Merrie Haskell

#sarcasm #snark #funny

I can’t believe he’s making you wait till January for an appointment.” “I could threaten to bomb the school. That’d get me in quicker. ↗

— Jeannine Garsee

#snark #therapy #funny

Woman, you got a mouth on you." "It's not 1955 any longer. Women swear as much as men." "I miss women who talk about women things." "You're changing the subject. Keep it up and I'll talk about my period. That's a woman thing. ↗

— Edie Ramer

#humor #snark #women-humor #change

And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked. ↗

— Jane Austen

#commentary #humor #snark #humor

What do you want, MacGuffin, a duel?” “No.” Julian held out both hands, one palm flat, the other held over it in a fist. “Rock, paper, scissors. Two out of three.” Ty rolled his eyes and held out his fist, apparently willing to play. Julian hit his palm three times, and Ty kept time with his fist in the air. But when Julian threw a paper, Ty reached into his jacket with his other hand and pulled his gun, aiming it at Julian. “Ty!” Zane said in exasperation from the front seat. “Glock, paper, scissors. I win.” “You are an ass,” Julian muttered. ↗

— Abigail Roux

#julian-cross #m-m-romance #snark #suspense #ty-grady

Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #snarky #witty #funny

That's about as effective as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass. ↗

— Denise Tompkins

#humor #snarky-quotes #funny

Like most people raised on American movies, I have poor access to my emotions, but can banter like a motherfucker. ↗

— Josh Bazell

#snark #movies

Why don't you wear those tiny shorts when you run, like they do in the movies?" His voice was low and sexy, and he knew it. "Because I'm not in a movie. I know it's confusing, since you obviously live 'The Saxon Show' day and night, but some of us want to live a boring, old, normal high school life, you know? ↗

— Liz Reinhardt

#bad-boy #double-clutch #funny #love #movies

Rumors had their own classic epidemiology. Each started with a single germinating event. Information spread from that point, mutating and interbreeding— a conical mass of threads, expanding into the future from the apex of their common birthplace. Eventually, of course, they'd wither and die; the cone would simply dissipate at its wide end, its permutations senescent and exhausted. There were exceptions, of course. Every now and then a single thread persisted, grew thick and gnarled and unkillable: conspiracy theories and urban legends, the hooks embedded in popular songs, the comforting Easter-bunny lies of religious doctrine. These were the memes: viral concepts, infections of conscious thought. Some flared and died like mayflies. Others lasted a thousand years or more, tricked billions into the endless propagation of parasitic half-truths. ↗

— Peter Watts

#pith #religion #rumor-cycles #snark #urban-legends