#smoking

Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different. In fact, I might even go too far in the opposite direction. My sign would say something like, "Smoke if you wish. But if you do, be prepared for the following series of events: First, we will confiscate your cigarette and extinguish it somewhere on the surface of your skin. We will then run you nicotine-stained fingers through a paper shredder and throw them into the street, where wild dogs will swallow them and then regurgitate them into the sewers, so that infected rats can further soil them before they're flushed out to sea with the rest of the city's filth. After such time, we will sysematically seek out your friends and loved one and destroy their lives." Wouldn't you like to see a sign like that? ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #smoking #funny

Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry. Merits were for sex addicts, Salems were for alcoholics, and Mores were for people who considered themselves to be outrageous but really weren't. ↗

— David Sedaris

#smoking #stereotypes #humor

I'd be (...) lying there on my back with my clothes on and looking up at the ceiling and watching the cigarette smoke flow up slow and splash against the ceiling like the upside-down slow-motion moving picture of the ghost of a waterfall or like the pale uncertain spirit rising up out of your mouth on the last exhalation, the way the Egyptians figured it, to leave the horizontal tenement of clay in its ill-fitting pants and vest. ↗

— Robert Penn Warren

#men

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. ↗

— Clement Freud

#drinking #give #just #live #longer

Due to state laws, the restaurant was nonsmoking, which as a nonsmoker pleases me, but as a Libertarian it pisses me off.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#big-brother #choice #freedom #law #laws

It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. ↗

— Fletcher Knebel

#causes #doubt #leading #now #proved

When you don't hold your pipe with the proper poise, smoking is very hazardous for your image. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #self-image #smoking #funny

Bring down Mike Mann and we can bring down the IPCC, they reckoned. It is a classic technique for the deniers' movement, I have discovered, and I don't mean only those who reject the idea of global warming but those who insist that smoking doesn't cause cancer or that industrial pollution isn't linked to acid rain. ↗

— Michael E. Mann

#bring #cancer #cause #classic #discovered

In Hollywood you can't even smoke in a bar anymore and yet in the movies they're always showing people smoking. I don't get it. ↗

— Gerald McRaney

#anymore #bar #even #get #hollywood

The upside to smoking is that you get to be social. I was looking for a light when I bumped into Ben Harper's manager. A couple of days later, Ben and I were in the studio. ↗

— Beth Orton

#bumped #couple #days #get #harper