#sleeping

I had a dream about you last night... You turned red, then green, and then blue. You told me you were trying to fit in with the m&m's. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were naked, and you had the body of a mannequin, with the face of a politician. And as I gazed at you, I couldn’t tell which of the two was more phony—the real fake of your body, or the fake real of your face.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You glued a fake beard on a mannequin and had it running a monetary printing press nonstop, and you planned on creating dollar bills forever, or until you devalued it to the point where savings were destroyed, lives devastated, and you continued laughing all the way to the bank, which you owned.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night.. You pretended not to be a three hole punch. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view. Then World War III fulfilled both our desires. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

How come you’re in such a good mood? You couldn't have gotten much more sleep than I did last night. Are you a morning person?” I ask in mock horror.“A mornin’ person, well maybe, but let’s just say I got to experience the nicest parts of hell last night,” he says quietly,taking the shirt I offer him. As he rises out of thebed, I can’t help looking over his perfect abdomen and chest before he shrugs into his shirt.“I’m sorry, the nicest parts of hell? What does that mean?” I ask.“Red, yer not a guy, so there’s no point explainin’, ↗

— Amy A. Bartol

#guys #secret-dude-meaning #sleeping-together #experience

I had a dream about you. You were crying, and I couldn’t tell if it was because you were sad or because you’d been laughing too hard. So I decided to find out by telling you that I’d just heard from the cops, and your mother had been murdered. Before I got to the punch line you started sobbing in a different manner, so I realized you’d been laughing earlier. By that time the mood had changed, and I decided it best not to deliver the punch line after all. So I sat down next to you and put my arm around you and tried to console you for your perceived loss. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were babysitting for a family of mannequins, and we were arguing over what to feed them. You wanted to feed them organic food, but I said, “Why waste real food on fake people?” In the end you agreed, and we served them a genetically modified dinner.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Well, we've made some changes on this tour. We're no longer sleeping in the parking lots and swimming in the fountains. We've been staying in hotels most of the way, though I will say some hotels have declined to take us because we're just having too much fun. ↗

— Bill Walton

#been #changes #declined #fountains #fun