#sleeping

My friends say, 'Man you're going to have kids sleeping on pillowcases with your face on it! You're going to be on toothbrushes and magnets and stuff.' I guess now that I'm a dad, I'm thrilled about that. ↗

— Hugh Jackman

#dad #face #friends #going #guess

We'll engage in pretty extreme violence in the world but, you know, the one thing that comes to humans as easily as eating or breathing or sleeping, is sex. ↗

— Mark Ruffalo

#comes #easily #eating #engage #extreme

While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in. ↗

— Dean Rusk

#sleeping #two-thirds #us #while #world

In the U.S., they just want to know who you're sleeping with. ↗

— Susan Sarandon

#know #sleeping #want #who #you

You guys ask really long questions. In the U.S., they just want to know who you're sleeping with. ↗

— Susan Sarandon

#guys #just #know #long #questions

I had a dream about you. We were on a bench next to the ocean eating melted chocolate out the belly of a beached whale. I said, “Isn’t this romantic?” and you either silently burped or the stench of decomposition wafted up to my nose, but either way I got the sense that either of those scents couldn’t have been a more appropriate reply. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

People always expect you to be jumping out of a Rolls Royce and being in the papers for drunk and disorderly or sleeping around. ↗

— Davy Jones

#around #being #disorderly #drunk #expect

Mass narcolepsy is one of the more fortunate side effects of profundity. It ensures everyone will have a singular awareness of life that won’t overlap with yours. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #narcolepsy #profundity #sleeping #funny

But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake. ↗

— Derek Landy

#crossword-puzzles #humor #humorous #laziness #retirement

I had a dream about you. We were babysitting for a family of mannequins, and we were arguing over what to feed them. You wanted to feed them organic food, but I said, “Why waste real food on fake people?” In the end you agreed, and we served them a genetically modified dinner.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships