#sleeping

I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our words. You were eating words like “Winner,” “Victory,” and Triumphant,” while I was eating words like “Macaroni,” “Pizza,” and “Meatloaf.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. I left for the country club, you the mountain top, knowing that at our reunion one would fall. When golf clubs fence with skis, both summer and winter are painted red. In the contact sports of the wealthy, the seasons are no longer impersonal forces. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. It was wet, but not lucid. So I couldn’t control my spraying hose. I think it means we shouldn’t join the fire department together. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. I sat at your table of brotherhood and asked why you invited so many strangers. You laughed and passed me the bread bowl. But the guest in-between us took the last roll before it reached me. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We made love like mannequins, and afterwards we laid in bed, exhausted and extinguished, which was indistinguishable from our insatiable sexual congress—and also identical to the way Congress goes about fucking us.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

...When a man first awakens, it sometimes takes several moments before he starts thinking clearly." "And here I thought it took several years, perhaps a lifetime for the average man's intellect to kick in. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#gwen #humor #intellect #karen-marie-moning #kiss-of-the-highlander

The moon looked like melted mozzarella to my bleary and blurry vision. Was I tired, intoxicated, or in love? Or was I sober, asleep, and alone?
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— Jarod Kintz

#asleep #blurry #cheese #drunk #intoxicated

Sleeping in a tinfoil suit keeps me warmer and helps prepare me for my voyage to the moon. Would you care for some licorice? 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #licorice #moon #non-sequitur #preparation

My mother gets all mad at me if I stay in a hotel. I'm 31-years-old, and I don't want to sleep on a sleeping bag down in the basement. It's humiliating. ↗

— Ben Affleck

#bag #basement #down #gets #hotel

I will continue to distribute blankets, sleeping bags, warm clothing and food on a regular basis, in the hope that my modest efforts will give some comfort to those people we are able help. ↗

— Mohamed Al-Fayed

#bags #basis #blankets #clothing #comfort