#skulduggery

Valkyrie made a face. "Bloody vampires." Ryan sat forward. "That was a vampire? That guy who looked like an accountant?" "We don't talk about vampires," Skulduggery warned. "But it was daytime. How could he have been out during the-" "We don't talk about vampires!" Valkyrie said sharply. Ryan shrunk back. "Sorry," he said. "Don't worry about it," Skulduggery told him. "Valkyrie used to date a vampire that's all." "We didn't date ," Valkyrie said immediately. Skulduggery held a hand up. "I'm not judging." Valkyrie scowled. ↗

— Derek Landy

#ryan #skulduggery-pleasant #valkyrie-cain #vampires #dating

The sparrow flies south for the winter. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death #dialogue #field #humour #nobody-to-talk-to

Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan.' 'Do we have the right plan?' 'Not yet.' 'Do we have any plan?' 'Not yet. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

Fletcher appeared beside her. He peered at the baby. "Can it do any tricks yet?" "I'm still working on it. Want to hold her?" "God, no," Fletcher said laughing. "I'd drop it." "It's not an it, it's my baby sister. Go on, hold her. You won't make a mess of it, i swear. Only an idiot could drop a baby." "You always say I am an idiot." "But you're a special kind of idiot. Here." She passed Alice into his arms, and he stood there, rigid, a look of intense concentration on his face. ↗

— Derek Landy

#derek-landy #idiots #skulduggery-pleasant #death

I am a rational man, but haven't you heard? i'm also insane. It gives me a unique perspective on things. ↗

— Derek Landy

#death

If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't Oh, and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up. ↗

— Derek Landy

#pleasant #radio #skulduggery #death

The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car. ↗

— Derek Landy

#pleasant #skulduggery #funny

Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting. ↗

— Derek Landy

#funny #girl #gracious #humour #hunting

It's really not as bad as it sounds. I was attacked by a shark once, back when I was alive. Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish. I knew, in that instant, if our roles had been reversed and the fish had been holding the fishing pole and I had been the one to be caught, it wouldn't hesitate a moment before eating me. So I cooked it and ate before it had a chance to turn the tables. ↗

— Derek Landy

#cooking