#simon

I never arrive unannounced without something big and juicy in hand. - Simon Hunt ↗

— Dannika Dark

#humor #hunt #juicy #mage #paranormal

The first morning Simon had been at Amatis's house, a grinning lycanthrope had showed up on the doorstep with a live cat for him. "Blood," he'd said, in a heavily accented voice. "For you. Fresh!" Simon had thanked the werewolf, waited from him to leave, and let the cat go, his expression faintly green. "We'll you're going to have to get your blood from somewhere," said Luke, looking amused. "I have a pet cat," Simon replied. "There's no way. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#cat #mortal-instruments #simon-lewis #vampire #expression

Poor you, you have two cute girls vying for your love. Your life is hard. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#life

Well," said Clary, after a judicious pause, "I guess you wouldn't have taken advantage of her when she's so grief-stricken and all." Simon snorted. "If you ever meet the man who could take advantage of Isabelle, you'll have to let me know. I'd like to shake his hand. Or run away from him very fast, I'm not sure which. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny-and-random #isabelle-lightwood #funny

Basia conquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is." "It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy,'" said Alec. "You just said 'Kiss the cook.'" "Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #jace #lol #simon #funny

The dark prince sat astride his black steed, his sable cape flowing behind him. A golden circlet bound his blond locks, his handsome face was cold with the rage of battle, and... "And his arm looked like an eggplant," Clary muttered to herself in exasperation. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #mortal-instruments #simon-lewis #funny

Let me ask you something,” Simon said. “Do you find me fascinating to be around?” “What was that?” Jace said. “Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace #simon #humor

You're a Shadowhunter," he said. "You know how to deal with injuries." He slid his stele across the table toward her. "Use it." "No," Clary said, and pushed the stele back across the table at him. Jace slammed his hand down on the stele. "Clary—" "She said she doesn't want it," said Simon. "Ha-ha." "Ha-ha?" Jace looked incredulous. "That's your comeback?" Alec, folding his phone, approached the table with a puzzled look. "What's going on?" "We seem to be trapped in an episode of One Life to Waste," Magnus observed. "It's all very dull. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #jace-wayland #magnus-bane #simon-lewis #tv-reference

Do you even really know how vampires are made?' 'Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much... ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#isabelle-lightwood #simon-lewis #life

Of course, everyone's going to freak out when you show up at school." "Freak out? Why?" "Because you're so much hotter now than when you left." She shrugged. "It's true. Must be a vampire thing." Simon looked baffled. "I'm hotter now?" "Sure you are. I mean, look at those two. They're both totally into you." She pointed to a few feet in front of them, where Isabelle and Maia had moved to walk side by side, their head bent together. Simon looked up ahead at the girls. Clary could almost swear he was blushing. "Are they? Sometimes they get together and whisper and stare at me. I have no idea what it's about." "Sure you don't." Clary grinned. "Poor you, you have two cute girls vying for your love. Your life is hard. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#simon-lewis #vampires #life