#silverware

Some men eat dinner with silverware. Some use chopsticks. I prefer zippers.
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— Jarod Kintz

#dinner #eat #food #oral-sex #preference

Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#dinner #eat #food #great-american-novel #silence

I am three forks away from eating all your food with two homeless guys. It’s too bad I only have a suitcase full of spoons and a bucket of soy sauce.
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— Jarod Kintz

#food #funny #homeless #humor #nonsense

Curiously, among the few survivors from this culinary onslaught is one that is most difficult to understand: the fish knife. Though it remains the standard instrument for dealing with fish of all kinds, no one has ever identified a single advantage conferred by its odd scalloped shape or worked out the original thinking behind it. There isn't a single kind of fish that it cuts better or bones more delicately than a conventional knife does. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#dining #ettiquette #silverware #home

Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her father’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware when he thought no one was looking ↗

— Derek Landy

#sad #silverware #steal #greed