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Have a baby shower, then an abortion. Now you just have to lose a little weight to squeeze into all your skimpy new outfits. ↗
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One thing that happens when you're pregnant is that as your stomach starts to stretch. It itches! So I have to keep my belly really lubricated. Every morning, there's a buttering ceremony after I get out of the shower. It's really like basting a turkey with body butter. ↗