#seals

[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn't have left behind the FRICKING REASON FOR THEIR PROTEST! And that thought just cracked me up.] It was like my friends had walked over the backs of baby seals in order to get to the beach where they could protest against the slaughter of baby seals. ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#dark-humor #funny #irony #misguided-protest #protest

Trying to drown me woman?" 'You can't drown a SEAL,' she said. 'How embarrassing would that be?' 'God yes. Shoot me, hang me, let me die of infection from a hangnail, but don't let me die in the water. They'd send me to hell on principle. ↗

— Maya Banks

#military #navy-seals #humor

The seals stupidly dive off rocks into swirling black water, barking mindlessly. The zookeepers feed them dead fish. A crowd gathers around the tank, mostly adults, a few accompanied by children. On the seals' tank a plaque warns: COINS CAN KILL——IF SWALLOWED, COINS CAN LODGE IN AN ANIMAL'S STOMACH AND CAUSE ULCERS, INFECTIONS AND DEATH. DO NOT THROW COINS IN THE POOL. So what do I do? Toss a handful of change into the tank when none of the zookeepers are watching. It's not the seals I hate——it's the audience's enjoyment of them that bothers me. ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#bateman #patrick #psycho #seals #zoo

Oh dios mio, she makes me burn, she makes me need. She is etching herself into mi alma ↗

— P.T. Macias

#alpha-male #cartel #erotic #erotica-romance #fbi

Here before us was sufficient evidence to show that it really was an entrance to a tomb, and by the seals, to all outward appearances that it was intact. ↗

— Howard Carter

#before #entrance #evidence #here #intact

I was once fired as opening act for Seals and Crofts because I got loaded and introduced them as Arts and Crafts. ↗

— George Miller

#arts #because #crafts #fired #got

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals. ↗

— John Steinbeck

#below #clowns #little #seals #trained

I thought of Pericles' speech to the families of the Athenian war dead, in which he said, "What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others. ↗

— Eric Greitens

#navy-seals #pericles #education

There is no honor in sending men to die for something you won't even fight for yourself ↗

— Mark Owen

#die #fight #honor #navy #no-easy-day

They were of many types of seals, all bearing the insignia of the King. ↗

— Howard Carter

#king #many #seals #types #were