#sausage

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! ↗

— Andy Rooney

#cows #marriage #men #pigs #sausage

There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger's origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes. ↗

— Kenneth Grahame

#bread #food #meals #picnics #sausage

[If you hear a] story about how eating sausage leads to anal cancer, you will be skeptical, because it has never happened to anyone you know, and sausage, after all, is delicious. ↗

— David McRaney

#food #sausage #food

I don't want to write formula. I don't want to crank these books out like sausages. Every book is different, which takes a hell of a lot of ingenuity on my part. ↗

— Sue Grafton

#books #crank #different #every #formula

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#come #go #into #lawsuit #machine

A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso. ↗

— Alan Patrick Herbert

#kind #looks #person #picasso #sausage

I do adore food. If I have any vice it's eating. If I was told I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, I could put up with sausage and mash forever. ↗

— Colin Baker

#any #could #eat #eating #food

My first outdoor cooking memories are full of erratic British summers, Dad swearing at a barbecue that he couldn't put together, and eventually eating charred sausages, feeling brilliant. ↗

— Jamie Oliver

#brilliant #british #cooking #dad #eating

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#go #into #litigation #machine #out

Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made. ↗

— Otto von Bismarck

#being #better #laws #like #made