#satire

The universe is a million billion light-years wide, and every inch of it would kill you if you went there. This is the position of the universe with regards to human life. ↗

— Martin Amis

#inspirational #satire #humor

I was trying to have an insight, and all I could think of was that I'd backed myself into a corner, and the corner was me. ↗

— John Welter

#humor #love #lunchmeat #satire #softball

Adrian had always found it amusing that a guy could be drilling Stacia up her ass while she considered herself to be a virgin. Her intent had been to present herself as such when she found "Mr. Right. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#anal-sex #bdsm #bodies #body #bondage

[...] with the protecting sky in all its splendour and the golden sun blazing forth against a backdrop of crystalline blue, to use the inspired words of a television reporter[...]. ↗

— José Saramago

#saramago #satire #seeing #style #inspirational

Their conversation ceased abruptly with the entry of an oddly-shaped man whose body resembled a certain vegetable. He was a thickset fellow with calloused and jaundiced skin and a patch of brown hair, a frizzy upheaval. We will call him Bell Pepper. Bell Pepper sidled up beside The Drippy Man and looked at the grilled cheese in his hand. The Drippy Man, a bit uncomfortable at the heaviness of the gaze, politely apologized and asked Bell Pepper if he would like one. “Why is one of your legs fatter than the other?” asked Bell Pepper. The Drippy Man realized Bell Pepper was not looking at his sandwich but towards the inconsistency of his leg sizes. “You always get your kicks pointing out defects?” retorted The Drippy Man. “Just curious. Never seen anything like it before.” “I was raised not to feel shame and hide my legs in baggy pants.” “So you flaunt your deformity by wearing short shorts?” “Like you flaunt your pockmarks by not wearing a mask?” Bell Pepper backed away, kicking wide the screen door, making an exit to a porch over hanging a dune of sand that curved into a jagged upward jab of rock. “He is quite sensitive,” commented The Dry Advisor. “Who is he?” “A fellow who once manipulated the money in your wallet but now curses the fellow who does. ↗

— Jeff Phillips

#authors #books #conspiracy #dubai #dystopia

...they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve, and if you do, you never get the results you expected. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#democracy-voting #election #elections #false-promises #government

I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry. ↗

— David Sedaris

#because #cry #feel #glee #i

Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. ↗

— Molly Ivins

#powerful #powerless #satire #traditionally #weapon

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. ↗

— Tom Lehrer

#became #henry #kissinger #nobel #nobel peace prize

Satire is focused bitterness. ↗

— Leo Rosten

#focused #satire