#satire

I turned on Fox News and jumped when I saw that they had one of those things in their studio. "Are you people crazy?" I screamed at the television. "Get out of there. Somebody shoot it!" Then I realized I was watching Special Report and had mistaken Charles Krauthammer for a zombie. ↗

— Ian McClellan

#media #political #politics #satire #zombies

For you, my darlings, freedom to do what you like is the discovery of how unlikable what you like to do makes you. Not that that stops you doing what you like, since you like doing what you like more than you like liking what you do... [Lucifer] ↗

— Glen Duncan

#satire #theology #freedom

Nothing helps your partner keep his mind on Jesus more than having a sign of His love tanned on your primary erogenous zones. ↗

— Scott B. Pruden

#humorous-quotes #immaculate-deception #satire #science-fiction #science-fiction-comedy

At Columbus Circle, a juggler wearing a trench cloak and top hat, who is usually at this location afternoons and who calls himself Stretch Man, performs in front of a small, uninterested crowd; though I smell prey, and he seems worthy of my wrath, I move on in search of a less dorky target. Though if he’d been a mime, odds are he’d already be dead. ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#inspirational #satire #inspirational

Boggle with sex addicts is up there with go-kart racing with junkies. ↗

— Russell Brand

#humor #inspirational #satire #humor

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. ↗

— Tom Lehrer

#became #henry #kissinger #nobel #nobel peace prize

Nobody could catch cold by the sea; nobody wanted appetite by the sea; nobody wanted spirits; nobody wanted strength. Sea air was healing, softening, relaxing -- fortifying and bracing -- seemingly just as was wanted -- sometimes one, sometimes the other. If the sea breeze failed, the seabath was the certain corrective; and where bathing disagreed, the sea air alone was evidently designed by nature for the cure. ↗

— Jane Austen

#literature #satire #design

Since my trips to Earth, I've only managed to assemble a few basics facts about humans, condensing them in to four, overall points: kids got Reese's, teens got recess, adults got recessions, and seniors got receding. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek-mythology #humor #mount-olympus #satire #valentines-day

Satire is enjoyable compensation for being forced to think. ↗

— Edgar Johnson

#satire #thinking #humor

She wore an A-line bridal gown with a V-shaped neckline while Apollo playing Bach's Air on the G string. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek #greek-mythology #humor #olympians #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians