#sass

Who are you?’ Gaia gasped. The girl froze for a moment. Looked at her. Smiled and said, ‘Who am I? I’m the Breeze, bitch! ↗

— Michael Grant

#breeze-quote #brianna #funny #gaia #humor

And Nate? You kiss like a slobbering dog, you have bad breath, and you wouldn't know how to punch the right buttons on a girl if we came with manuals. Happy Thanksgiving, Jackass. ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#humor #sassy #humor

Listen, do you really expect me to believe that God lives beneath the Vatican?- Ezio Auditore ↗

— Oliver Bowden

#ezio-auditore #humor #humor

This, more than anything else, is what I have never understood about your people. You can roll dice, and understand that the whole game may hinge on one turn of a die. You deal out cards, and say that all a man's fortune for the night may turn upon one hand. But a man's whole life, you sniff at, and say, what, this naught of a human, this fisherman, this carpenter, this thief, this cook, why, what can they do in the great wide world? And so you putter and sputter your lives away, like candles burning in a draft. ↗

— Robin Hobb

#royal-assassin #the-fool #life

Hippos are the very definition of Disney cute. There is no way you could look at a big, fat, squishy, huggable hippo and not think, "Id she could talk like a human, she would sound just like Jada Pinkett Smith and be oh so sassy." You would totally name her Sassy-baskets, and she would be your tutu-wearing, ballet-dancing, strut-walking pal for life. Just you and Sassy-baskets against the world! ↗

— Cracked.com

#humor #internet #sassy #zombies #life

Did you know?" I snarled. "Did you help take my father and corrupt my life? ↗

— Oliver Bowden

#life

You love me?' 'Yes, you great lummox. I love you.' He lets out a sigh. 'Sweet Camulos! It's about time. ↗

— Robin L. LaFevers

#dark-triumph #grave-mercy #his-fair-assassin #robin-lafevers #romance

I see men assassinated around me every day. I walk through rooms of the dead, streets of the dead, cities of the dead; men without eyes, men without voices; men with manufactured feelings and standard reactions; men with newspaper brains, television souls and high school ideas. Kennedy himself was 9/10ths the way around the clock or he wouldn't have accepted such an enervating and enfeebling job -- meaning President of the United States of America. How can I be concerned with the murder of one man when almost all men, plus females, are taken from cribs as babies and almost immediately thrown into the masher? ↗

— Charles Bukowski

#assassination #class #kennedy #men

Sometimes I wish I was in the movies...Not to be famous or nothing. I just wish I was made of light. Then nobody’d know me except for what they saw up on that screen. I’d just be light up on the silver screen, and not at all a man. ↗

— Alan Heathcock

#escape #running-away #unhappiness #movies

It had been a long night already, and now here I was, locked in another fight to the death. Sometimes it just didn't pay to leave the house. ↗

— Jennifer Estep

#elemental-assassin #gin-blanco #death