#sarcastic

Mr. Sand, do you think it's possible to fall in love in the space of a single day?" He smiled. "I wouldn't know. I only fall in love at night. Never lasts beyond breakfast, though. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#sarcastic-humor #humor

Caroline's lips thinned, her face flushed. "My husband, sir, has more secrets in his tiny, insignificant mind than the entire British War Department has had on file since its inception." She huffed with pure, disgusted outrage, lowering her gaze to the floor to murmur, "I'll kill him. ↗

— Adele Ashworth

#husband-and-wife #sarcastic #funny

So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident. ↗

— Lish McBride

#necromancer #panda #sarcastic #zombie #humor

I paused for a moment, debating whether to turn and look what was happening. My senses told me Obo’s presence was still at my side, and turning my face into the barrel of a gun seemed like an ill-advised way to cap off this day of monumentally stupid decisions. ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #stupid-decisions #humor

I didn’t intend it to come out sarcastically, but I guess that’s just where my tone of voice automatically goes these days. ↗

— M.A. George

#sarcasm #sarcastic-humor #humor

She bared her teeth at me. “Screw you, shifter!” “Ah, is our honeymoon period over so quickly? You wanted to jump my bones just a second ago. ↗

— Cori Moore

#honeymoon #humour #innuendo #sarcastic-humor #shifter

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#control-freaks #control-issues #cynic #cynical #cynical-humor

Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there. ↗

— Kira Peikoff

#sarcastic-humor #religion

Yeah, sure,” I scoffed. “You’re the picture of respectability and moral character…You expect me to believe you were your parents’ worst nightmare? What was your criminal act of choice—drunken bar fights? Or maybe grand theft auto? Don’t tell me you sold the crown jewels to buy drugs…It’s so disappointingly cliché. ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #respect

I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself, and they didn't get it then. Nothing's changed. ↗

— Fiona Apple

#changed #fifth #get #going #got