#sarcastic

Want some help with help with that stick in your ass, love?" "No. It's quite comfortable, thank you." "It should be. It's been in there for years." Nix winked at Will. "I hope you'll forgive my wife. She's a bit antisocial." "And water's a bit wet. ↗

— S.W. Vaughn

#forgiveness

I didn’t intend it to come out sarcastically, but I guess that’s just where my tone of voice automatically goes these days. ↗

— M.A. George

#sarcasm #sarcastic-humor #humor

I'd tell you nice try, but... it wasn't. ↗

— Cynder

#sarcasm #sarcastic-humor #humor

She bared her teeth at me. “Screw you, shifter!” “Ah, is our honeymoon period over so quickly? You wanted to jump my bones just a second ago. ↗

— Cori Moore

#honeymoon #humour #innuendo #sarcastic-humor #shifter

I say his version because there is no such thing as a true account of anything. Each sees the world from his own vantage point. Needless to say, a throne is not the best place from which to view anything except the backs of prostrate men. ↗

— Gore Vidal

#men

Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there. ↗

— Kira Peikoff

#sarcastic-humor #religion

I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself, and they didn't get it then. Nothing's changed. ↗

— Fiona Apple

#changed #fifth #get #going #got

If history teaches us anything, it’s that governments are always right, and they always do what’s in the best interest of the people, even at the expense of their own political agenda. In every situation, the answer is always more government and more regulation. If there are six billion people in the world, then all six billion should work for the government. More, if we could. And there should be at least twice as many laws as there are people in the world. And with more laws means more lawyers, so it’s a double benefit. It’s a win-win for both the government and the citizens, which of course there won’t be because in this utopian dream there are no citizens, there is only the government. The best part is the taxes will be super high, but they’re paid in full by the printing presses of the Geodesic Dome Society. Full benefits, zero unemployment, no chance of being fired, and a world so efficient it would make Rube Goldberg look like Fred Taylor or Henry Ford. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #governments #history #sarcastic #dreams

You think he left a big flashing arrow pointing to a filing cabinet labeled 'Evidence Here!'? He's a Stray, Ethan, not Wile E. Coyote! ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#faythe-sanders #funny #prey #sarcastic #funny

He has such a patronizing tone and manner, and such a sarcastic sense of humor. I found him rather brutal, a kind of elegant brutality which appealed. No, I think he came pretty much off the page. ↗

— Jeremy Northam

#brutal #brutality #came #elegant #found