#sarcastic

It's fun to be sarcastic, but now I'm able to express myself in a way that's much more sincere. ↗

— Christina Ricci

#express #fun #i #more #much

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#humor

You have delighted us long enough. ↗

— Jane Austen

#humor

The cleanest civilization I’ve ever seen…and the number one thing you pack for a wedding is a jar of dirt? ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #wedding-traditions #humor

I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself, and they didn't get it then. Nothing's changed. ↗

— Fiona Apple

#changed #fifth #get #going #got

Mum said earlier what a lovely dress you’re wearing.” Beryl’s eyebrows wriggled like two tiny tapeworms. “This?” she said. “But I’ve had this for years.” It was a beige dress that would have looked better on an eighty year-old. Any eighty-year-old, man or woman. “I think you’ve really grown into it,” Valkyrie said. “I always thought it was a little shapeless.” Valkyrie resisted the urge to say that was what she meant. ↗

— Derek Landy

#shapeless #style #death

Perfect! Now we're being chased by hoards of monkeys! Perhaps you would care to name their species as we're attacked, just so I can appreciate the special traits of said monkey as it kills me!" "At least when the monkeys are harassing you, you dont have any time to harass me! ↗

— Colleen Houck

#sarcastic #appreciation

Why did you ask me to live with you? Werewolves hate vampires.” “I don’t,” said Kyle.” I’m not too fond of their kind, though.” He jabbed a finger at Jace. “They think they’re better than everyone else.” “No,” said Jace. “I think I’m better than everyone else. An opinion that has been backed up with ample evidence.” Kyle looked at Simon. “Does he always talk like this?” “Yes. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #sarcastic #opinions

My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes. ↗

— Emily Deschanel

#family #jokes #making #sarcastic #very

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#funny #sarcastic #funny