#sarcastic

Too young,too young,she chanted to herself. Wrong,of course. I was older than her grandfather but according to my driver's license,she was right. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#humor

I can only imagine what goes on in that head of yours…” he teased. “I assure you I haven’t taken up black magic, ritualistic sacrifice, or—” “Plushophilia?” I tagged on. “Excuse me?…” came his half-confused, half-intrigued reaction. “An obsession with stuffed animals,” I clarified. “I mean, you are a young one…” “Where did you come up with that?” He kept his hands firmly covering my eyes, but I could hear the amused smile in his voice. “Is that even a real word?” “I’m a doctor, I know these things,” I shrugged. ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #imagination

I wish I could say I’m low maintenance, but I like some of the finer things in life…like a toothbrush. ↗

— M.A. George

#low-maintenance #paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #the-finer-things-in-life #life

Wait-you mean the Mall, as in a bunch of museums in DC that we would wander around and I'd pretend like I understood modern art while really thinking, holy crap, a gremlin could have painted that and for all we know did, or the mall, as in picking out a new pair of shoes, eating food that's terrible for us, and making up life stories for all the people that pass us?" 'I can see now that I must have meant the second.' "What a smart boy. ↗

— Kiersten White

#lend #mall #sarcastic #art

Girls, on the other hand, have always come easy. I don't know why that is, exactly. Maybe it's the outsider vibe and a well-placed brooding look. Maybe it's something I think I see sometimes in the mirror, something that reminds me of my father. Or maybe I'm just damn easy on the eyes. ↗

— Kendare Blake

#anna-dressed-in-blood #attraction #cas #cassio #funny

I once told a journalist that girls call me 'Kitten,' but I couldn't have been more sarcastic, and no matter how many times I've said that it was a joke, it still doesn't go away. ↗

— Joaquin Phoenix

#been #call #go #go away #how

It's fun to be sarcastic, but now I'm able to express myself in a way that's much more sincere. ↗

— Christina Ricci

#express #fun #i #more #much

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#different #different kinds #fit #humor #introspective

Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic. ↗

— Barbet Schroeder

#humor #sarcastic #very

By the light," he said, when he had mastered himself. "I think that beats singing a lullaby to a stormdog for simplicity and economy, Maerad. But I wish I had known that you simply had to blow at Hulls to get rid of them. It would have saved me a few scars. ↗

— Alison Croggon

#humor #sarcastic #funny