#sarcastic

Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic. ↗

Kidnapped by a vampire, death by a squid. How tragic. ↗

I started down but Sam caught my arm and knelt down himself to look. "For crying out loud," he said. "It's a racoon." "Poor thing," I said. "It could be a rabid baby-killer," Cole told me primly. "Shut up," Sam said pleasantly. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#funny #grace-brisbane #prim #rabid #racoon

No, but as a vampire, I'm able to detect subtle shifts in emotional energy. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#funny #jenna #sarcastic #funny

One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#humor #sarcastic-humor #satire #humor

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#control-freaks #control-issues #cynic #cynical #cynical-humor

Rupert: "... At this rate, somebody is bound to upset the Warlock once too often, and we'll end up with a Court full of bemused looking toads." "He wouldn't dare use his magic here," said the Champion. "Don't bet on it," said Rupert. "The High Warlock has all the practicality and self-preservation instincts of a depressed lemming. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#sarcastic-humor #humor

I say his version because there is no such thing as a true account of anything. Each sees the world from his own vantage point. Needless to say, a throne is not the best place from which to view anything except the backs of prostrate men. ↗

— Gore Vidal

#men

Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there. ↗

— Kira Peikoff

#sarcastic-humor #religion

Yeah, sure,” I scoffed. “You’re the picture of respectability and moral character…You expect me to believe you were your parents’ worst nightmare? What was your criminal act of choice—drunken bar fights? Or maybe grand theft auto? Don’t tell me you sold the crown jewels to buy drugs…It’s so disappointingly cliché. ↗

— M.A. George

#paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #respect