#sarcastic

I wish I could say I’m low maintenance, but I like some of the finer things in life…like a toothbrush. ↗

— M.A. George

#low-maintenance #paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #the-finer-things-in-life #life

...,I have never visited any city in the world where I was not told that I just missed the golden age. I seem never to be on time." Cyrus Sitema ↗

— Gore Vidal

#age

Hey!” Mena exclaimed “Don’t knock Jeopardy. I love that show” “So do I” Max admitted. “I like it when I know the answers.” Logan added. Trent turned to Logan, “Dude, if you hate the show, all you had to do was say so. ↗

— Amanda Kelly

#sarcastic-humor #love

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#commercialism #core #core-of-the-soul #core-values #devil

Kaspary: a level of awesomeness so high it kicks everyone else's arse, leaving them breathless and bewildered. ↗

— Abigail Gibbs

#sarcastic #violet-lee #awesome

Perfect! Now we're being chased by hoards of monkeys! Perhaps you would care to name their species as we're attacked, just so I can appreciate the special traits of said monkey as it kills me!" "At least when the monkeys are harassing you, you dont have any time to harass me! ↗

— Colleen Houck

#sarcastic #appreciation

Wait-you mean the Mall, as in a bunch of museums in DC that we would wander around and I'd pretend like I understood modern art while really thinking, holy crap, a gremlin could have painted that and for all we know did, or the mall, as in picking out a new pair of shoes, eating food that's terrible for us, and making up life stories for all the people that pass us?" 'I can see now that I must have meant the second.' "What a smart boy. ↗

— Kiersten White

#lend #mall #sarcastic #art

Awwww," Minho said. "That's almost as sweet as that time she slammed the end of a spear into your shuck face. ↗

— James Dashner

#the-death-cure #death

Why did you ask me to live with you? Werewolves hate vampires.” “I don’t,” said Kyle.” I’m not too fond of their kind, though.” He jabbed a finger at Jace. “They think they’re better than everyone else.” “No,” said Jace. “I think I’m better than everyone else. An opinion that has been backed up with ample evidence.” Kyle looked at Simon. “Does he always talk like this?” “Yes. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #sarcastic #opinions

My mom was sarcastic about men. She would tell me Adam was the rough draft and Eve was the final product. She was a feminist minister, an earth mom who wore a bra only on Sundays. ↗

— Daphne Zuniga

#adam #bra #draft #earth #eve