#sarcasm

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #fat #humor #jace #mortal-instruments

You his brother?' 'Yes, damn it!' I burst out. "And all I want is to get my hands on whoever did this to him!' 'Funny,' said a dick dryly, 'but so do we.' I didn't like him much after that. Sarcasm is out of place when a man has just been brought face to face with personal tragedy. ("Walls That Hear You") ↗

— Cornell Woolrich

#tragedy #funny

That's great," Katie said. "Actually, it's revolutionary. If you can work and be in love at the same time, you're the first woman I ever knew that could. Maybe you're the missing link, Amanda." Maybe you ought to get a job for the 'Ladies Home Journal.' They like simplistic shit like that. ↗

— Ellen Gilchrist

#sarcasm #love

I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?" "Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple." "But...you did something nice. Why?" He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #madness #nice #percy-jackson #sarcasm

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. ↗

— Irina Dunn

#non-sequitur #sarcasm #women #humor

Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #isi #sarcasm #humor

Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat." I grinned. "I've noticed." Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term." "Really? I thought you were talking about his ass. ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#sarcasm #teasing #witty #humor

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#sarcasm #humor

The earl shook his head, exhibiting a degree of frosty offense that could only be achieved by an aristocrat whose wishes had just been gainsaid. “I’ve never heard of a man being so eager to confess to the parent of a girl he’s just ruined,” he said sourly. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#sarcasm #humor

Should I pull on a shirt?" he asked with hint of amusement. I WILL NOT BLUSH. "No." He'd be doing the world a favor if he never wore a shirt again, but I wasn't going to tell him that part. "You're fine. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#sarcasm #humor